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Hash
Rules
- No
poofters.
- There
is no rule 2.
- See
rule 1. No poofters.
- No stealing
(see hereunder - definition of stealing): Stealing - the covert removal
of another Hashman's property with the intention of depriving said
Hashman of such property for an indefinite period of time.
- No
stealing, but borrowing is okay (see hereunder the definition of borrowing):
Borrowing - the act of covert temporary removal of another Hashman's
property (property in this instance is confined to items of a portable
nature and directly related to hashing such as mugs, bugles and run
books). Substantial items such as kegs whilst being directly related
to hashing should never be borrowed. At all times the property borrowed
is held for a relatively short period of time and always returned
in good order. Often such property is enhanced by suitable engraving
to record for posterity the guile of the borrower. Borrowing is a
complex issue and where any doubt exists the Grand Master should be
consulted.
- No poofters.
- Rain
is not permitted during Hash runs. The Religious Advisor is personally
responsible for ensuring that fine conditions prevail for a period
of not less than one hour each Sunday from 4.00 pm.
- No poofters.
- No
discrimination. Wogs, abos, poms, unemployed, dogs, women, criminals,
disabled, nymphomaniacs, Southsider’s, Carlisle supporters and even
lawyers are all encouraged to run Hash. Alcoholics are particularly
welcome. Athletes are tolerated in some Hashes. Athletes, dogs and
men whilst permitted to run can never aspire to become Grand Master.
- Definitely
no poofters.
- No competitiveness.
- Under
no circumstances are poofters permitted to run Hash.
- No training.
Persons caught training will be deemed to have breached rule 11 and
will be liable to a charge. A range of activities may be interpreted
as training, and for guidance the following non-exhaustive list is
provided: a) running other than official Hash runs; b) cycling (fornication
on a push bike is exempt); c) visiting a gymnasium for any other purpose
than perving on the aerobics class; d) using the stairs while escalators
are available; and e) rooting the wife/girlfriend when so pissed it
is a marathon effort.
- All
Hashmen must commit to memory rules 1, 2 and 3 and be able to recite
them at any hour of the day or night regardless of their state of
inebriation.
- Poofterism
will not be fucking tolerated under any conditions.
- No
fighting at Hash. This rule is absolute and the entire culture of
Hash relies on strict adherence to this rule. If a fellow Hashman
causes you immense displeasure by stealing your car or impregnating
your daughter (wives are exempt) then belt shit out of him at some
other place than Hash and on some other day than Sunday which is a
day of reverence and tranquillity.
- Poofters
will be shot on sight. No poofters.
- Other
rules may be enacted by the committee as they see fit.
- Amendments
to Rules 1, 3, 6, 8, 10, 12, 15 and 17 are illegal. Note: Bestiality
is not covered in these Rules due to the proliferation of New Zealand
Hashes. Whilst ovine relationships are discouraged in Australia, subject
to certain rules it will be tolerated: a) the fucker must be of NZ
birth or citizenship b) the fuckee must be a ewe (no poofters!) c)
the fuckee must be a consenting adult d) the fuckee must be reasonably
attractive As this item is not incorporated in Hash rules, all behaviour
covered by the above note is subject to determination by the Grand
Master.
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