Run No. 1311 Hang Hau, hared by Hopeless

Best turnout of the year so far with 66 runners and more than a few dogs taking advantage of perfect weather (note, the RA was not present) and a popular hashing area to enjoy a great afternoon in Junk Bay.
This being the first run I was able to do since the AGM in Cheung Chau 3 weeks ago, I was fascinated to see how the new committee would perform. But,alas, the GM was away. And the ever delightful Bravefart was also not in attendance, nor the forever absent Haggis. However we did have Hare Hopeless, tagged as RA as a last ditch manoeuvre by the old committee before seceding to a more anally acceptable position as Hash Cash.
Well, he was haring today, and he was looking pleased. We had four trails, no less, including a long kind of super Rambo as a result of complaints about previous runs being too short. Runners were swent off at 16.04, four minutes too late, which Hopeless will lose sleep over, and after a check or two and a few hundred yards along the road we were up through the graveyard and into the hills with lovely views of the surrounding mountains. Following the trail with me here were various hashers, including a very youthful-looking Old Sock, no-name May, Freewheel and the Pink Poofter.
Here a split took the Rambos on a guided tour of a major land reclamation, touted for a future housing estate. This loop went down, round, down and round then up to rejoin the wimps for a lovely trail down through the woods to the village of Mang Kung Uk. As we were running along one of the quarry levels we heard a great commotion up above, where various species of the Pussy family were posing for a group photograph at the edge of the drop.
Rejoining the road at the village we found the last split, in other words the long run or easy on home. Hmmm. Hot day and all that, but it's too good an opportunity to miss, so on up onto the High Junk Peak ridge with Minor Lip Service, Henrik, Dr Doom, Bobbledick and others. Recent rains had made the trails a bit plothery, but no crashes were recorded. No injuries requiring medical treatment either, which was surprising because hash nurse Bangkok was not wearing any clothes. At the top an inviting trail leads off to the right, but thankfully in view of the heat the hare took us down and to the left on another great running trail which led to the Clearwater Bay Road.
Village paths led us on down through Wo Tong Kong and back to the A.
Cold beers were out in force. Nice to see Camel lounging around doing nothing after his magnificent performance of the last year. That's a long time for an AGM. Speaking of which, we now have a new one, co-opted onto the committee on his first run. What were they thinking of, I wonder? Didn't his mother tell him never to be an AGM on his first hash? Word is he memorizes Caligula's list every night so as not to get down downs wrong, and also to familiarise himself with the names of all the bonkable harriettes.
One failing of the hash in recent years has been that no one goes to the bash any more. As a result of which hares have more or less stopped trying to organise bashes. That's a great shame. In fact, 37 people took the trouble to walk over to the Hang Hau old village and eat at the Thai Dai Pai Dong, where great food was had by all. Sundays can be difficult at popular venues such as this, and some of us had to wait for a while before getting a seat. But we got there eventually and Hopeless popped round every two minutes to make sure the food was OK. Or was he serving it? I can't remember. Water intoxication, maybe.

The Circle

Opened, in the absence of any committee members with tits, by Just Come.
…The hare…four runs !! Set today, that is.
…Virgins Cathy, Syria, Heather, Minor Lip Service. (No, she wasn't a virgin, she told me.)
…Returnees: Silly Cow, Priscilla,
…Ten runs…Contractor, Legally Blonde. Caligula as ever prepared with the patches.
…Yummy Mummy and Butterfly, 69 runs. The hash was agog at the possibility of a lesbian 69 but no, Camel couldn't resist stepping in.
…Amahs Self Raising Flour, Kumquat May and G String.
…Wet Patch, 50 runs.
…On in Precious Pussy, also and preferably known as Ninja, for 100 runs.
…Dr Doom, 150 runs.
…G String, bitten by a dog exactly a year ago (no, not that one of Tight Clit's, which got squashed last week when Motormouth stepped on it) and mauled today by a pink cuddly toy.
…Doom and G String, 5 years of bonking. Lily the Drink joined them on their anniversary for a threesome.
…Action Asia stars, Captain Pubic and Bobbledick.

Captain Pubic
…Dog people on in, plus Indy on the phone.
…Dogs not allowed in the park! They had their own circle outside.
…Hash Bike, got a few hairnets, hates those big spiders.
…Indy, no longer a serious hasher.
…Bobbledick, in the Action Asia race without a helmet, steals one from a dying competitor.

Hopeless
…Lost property, a handbag belonging to Princess Cocktosser. That's a name I haven't heard before…
…Sex on the hash. Emma Royd and Silly Cow.
…ET, the only hasher who can afford to give Hash Cash a $500 note these days.
…AGM, Just Come, and Butterfly. What happened?

Just Come
…Camel and Pole Dancer, smoking cigars.

Captain Pubic
…Indy, for great parenting. The park, the water, and Mud Max hasn't fallen in
…Shithouse, for getting a poison ivy rash
…Bobbledick. First in the OAP class in Action Asia, then being bitchy to Frank the Plank for coming second.

Hopeless
…A bankers down down. Old Sock and Bare Ass for dobbing in Little Sai Wanker, who did something disgusting I can't remember.
…Old Sock has dyed his hair. The colour ran the moment he stepped underneath his patented shower
…Pissing on trail; G String, amongst others
…Just Come, misbehaving with respectable harriettes

Captain Pubic
…Bondi, wearing only a towel
…Free Fuck…no idea what this one was for

Camel
…The testosterone challenged…not! ...ex AGM finally notices the hash nurse is not wearing any clothes

Caligula
…Silly Cow, recently hashing in Africa, regurgitated by lion
…Returnees who didn't own up first time round. Princess Cocksucker, Any Dick Will Do.
…BOF, burning his genitals in the shower.
…Tequila Fuckwit, wears nipple shields when running, also before breast feeding.
…Hopeless, the hare… no beer left

Next Week's Run…Stanley. A to B run. Hares G String, Neptune's Pussy and Bangkok.

On on, Bondi Barbie